Apartment 402
by mickeylover303
Summary: The one where Sasuke suffers groping that spurs a midlife crisis he's too young for, Naruto gets locked out of their apartment even though he's not the culprit, and everyone else keeps making the same assumptions about the relationship they don't have.


_This started as something to get a feel for other characters, but it became a long and silly, self-indulgent AU (where nobody dies)...experimental one-shot with a dorkish, somewhat emotionally constipated Sasuke and a playful, somewhat endearingly oblivious Naruto. I'm bummed about the more serious and sappy aspects, which dragged the story down, but serious belief was temporarily suspended for this kind of ridiculousness to be had._

...

**Apartment 402**

Sasuke tolerates Naruto's arm around his shoulders because nearly twenty years of trying to push away the offending limb does nothing to dissuade Naruto. When he shoves Naruto's arm away, Naruto combats Sasuke's scowl with a grin and puts his arm back around Sasuke's shoulders.

They spend too much time together, and the move into a shared apartment six months ago doesn't make it any easier for Sasuke to distance himself from his best friend-cum-roommate. Naruto is a touchy feely kind of person, overly so when it comes to Sasuke, but Sasuke won't openly admit he doesn't mind as much as he tells Naruto he does.

It's nothing less than usual during a normal Sunday where Sasuke and Naruto make the monthly trek for lunch to meet Sakura, who complains the three of them don't spend as much time together like they used to when they were younger. If knowing Naruto since he could crawl is too long, then knowing Sakura since he could walk is long enough for Sasuke, and there's something almost precariously close to unsettling about the fact the three of them attend the same university.

They eat lunch at a different place the second Sunday of every month, and today's Sakura's turn to pick. It's some café Sasuke can't remember the name of, but it's within walking distance of the campus, not too far from his apartment. He looks at his watch to see it's a little after noon, although hopefully Naruto and Sakura won't force him into a conversation that lasts too long. If he leaves by two, he'll have time to get ready to meet Ino at the library before three.

"Sasuke."

Sasuke looks up when he hears his name being called by someone not Naruto and sees said someone heading towards them. In a situation where Sasuke would walk away, Naruto stops, countering Sasuke's silent cue to keep walking with a not so silent reproach for Sasuke to stop being so anti-social.

"Don't be rude to the guy," Naruto says. "What if it's important?"

"It's not."

"How do you know?"

"I don't know him."

"What kind of—"

"Sasuke," the guy says again, and Sasuke narrows his eyes trying to place this stranger addressing him by his first name. "We're in the same organic chemistry class with Professor Obora? Kanazawa Toshio, remember?"

Sasuke stares at Kanazawa. No, he doesn't remember him. Brown hair and brown eyes, Kanazawa's another nameless face as far as Sasuke's concerned.

"You're a real hard guy to find when you aren't in class, you know that? But I just happened to notice you and was thinking later we could—" Kanazawa pauses, brows furrowed as he finally takes notice of Naruto and the arm Naruto has around Sasuke's shoulders. "You two aren't..."

Naruto removes his arm from around Sasuke's shoulders like the contact burns. "I don't think I like what you're trying to say."

"Nothing, didn't mean anything by it, of course," Kanazawa says with a smile. He takes a step forward, easing his way in between Sasuke and Naruto. "Anyway, I was wondering if you could help me study for the exam coming up?"

"Why?" Sasuke asks. "I don't know you."

Naruto opens his mouth to say something but is cut off by Kanazawa.

"Because you're good at this sort of thing," Kanazawa says. "And if you let me be your helicase, I'll unzip your genes, and maybe we could get to know each other a little better."

Sasuke stiffens, and the realisation he's being hit on is overshadowed by Kanazawa's invasion of his personal space, specifically the placement of Kanazawa's hand on his back and the quick descent of that hand.

He's been groped before, too many times on the train by older ladies wearing too much makeup and salarymen with wrinkle-free suits who think it's okay to cop a feel because the trains are so crowded. But just because he's used to wandering fingers doesn't mean Sasuke holds any less contempt for something so unabashed, and there's an added dimension of humiliation when a sharp intake of breath reminds him that Naruto's there.

Kanazawa winks. "Then we can share coffee in the morn—"

Sasuke doesn't think twice, and a loud crack resounds when he punches Kanazawa. Hard and bruising, enough to dislocate Kanazawa's jaw, the pain in his hand that travels up his arm feels good.

He doesn't look back when Kanazawa hits the ground and leaves Naruto there gaping like the useless idiot he is.

...

His mom always stresses the importance of doing the right thing in a society that silently promotes turning the other cheek in certain situations when it's more beneficial, and his dad always stresses the value of common decency because he says it isn't as common as it used to be in their days, so Naruto accordingly thinks of himself as the kind of person who will readily help a stranger twitching on the ground.

However, when Sasuke flat out decks that Kanazawa guy and stomps off without even looking at Naruto, Naruto's seriously considering making an exception.

His first instinct is to go after Sasuke. He doesn't feel compelled to help the guy who shamelessly helps himself to touching Sasuke..._there_. But his parents raised him maybe a little too well, and Naruto reluctantly resolves to be the bigger person in this situation.

He looks around at the people who haven't stopped to see why Naruto is standing over a guy lying on the street, turning their heads away purposely not to draw attention to themselves. Biting his lip, he slips his hands into the pockets of his orange and grey jacket and gingerly pokes Kanazawa with the toe of his shoe, wondering if he'll have to hide the body of this guy.

"Hey, you alive or what?"

Groaning, Kanazawa sits up a little. He's rubbing his sore jaw, wearing the cocky sort of satisfied grin he gave Sasuke that Naruto wants to knock off Kanazawa's face himself. The bruise is going to be ugly by tomorrow, dark purplish, almost black. Naruto knows from personal experience Sasuke doesn't hold back when he wants to hurt someone, although there's something that won't allow Naruto to sympathise with Kanazawa about the state of his face.

It's like a really annoying itch or, better yet, a really strong urge to kick Kanazawa, but Naruto doesn't give in because he reminds himself he's not that kind of person.

With a sigh, Naruto extends a hand towards the guy who'd probably be easier to deal with unconscious.

Still grinning, Kanazawa begins to pull himself up using Naruto as leverage. "You wouldn't happen to know Sasuke's number, would you?"

Naruto snorts at Kanazawa's persistence. Even he has his limits. His upbringing can only have so much influence on him. Sasuke would probably kill Kanazawa if he saw him again anyway, and Naruto decides to look at it as doing the guy a gratuitous favour when he promptly drops Kanazawa's hand and lets him fall back on the ground.

But when he runs to find Sasuke, Naruto can't decide if he's more upset about Kanazawa touching someone like that so candidly or angry at the fact that Sasuke won't look at him when Naruto catches up with him at the café where they're meeting Sakura. Sasuke ignores him and sticks his nose in the air like some pompous bastard, like Naruto's the one who got groped by a pervert, except Sasuke's looking down on him for it simply because Naruto isn't the one who had Kanazawa's hand squeezing his ass.

It's the principle of the thing, though, Naruto tells himself, because Kanazawa's boldness has nothing to do with Sasuke being on the receiving end of it. Besides, even without Kanazawa groping Sasuke as a factor, the thing about the helicase and genes is one of the worst pick up lines Naruto's ever heard.

...

The maid café is one of the newer ones Ino told Sakura about that just opened last week. Tucked in the corner between a clothing boutique and an electronics shop, it's a quaint little place. It seats no more than twenty people at a time, but inside Sakura feels as if she's stepped into another world, into one of those European cafés she's seen in travel magazines.

The two waitresses who greet her when Sakura walks in are incredibly cute in their pink pinafores and matching bows trimmed with white lace placed in their hair. The frilly little aprons they're wearing are darling, and the pink round toe shoes with the silver buckles are adorable enough for Sakura to want a pair. She doesn't have anything to wear with the shoes since they're not really her style, but it doesn't stop her from wanting them anyway.

The atmosphere is different from anything she's used to. She's always wanted to go to a maid café, only recently working up the nerve since there's a stigma about guys with questionable fantasies visiting places like these, but the maids referring to customers as mistress or mister makes Sakura feel almost embarrassingly giddy. It's such a refreshing change, being addressed with such a level of respect despite having to pay for it. Sakura's so used to the ease of being with her family and friends, particularly the crassness of Naruto and Sasuke, and it makes her blush when one of the maids calls her mistress and smiles while placing a small plate of petit fours in front of her.

But the overtly polite service is nothing compared to the food itself. The café is predominantly a sweets shop, which Sasuke probably won't forgive her for due to his strange aversion to sugar, but Sakura knows she's in heaven when she begins to nibble on a small confectionary.

It's almost too pretty to eat, but it fits so perfectly in her mouth, and the flavour is absolutely divine. Exquisite dark chocolate sauce on top of moist white cake containing a cherry filling, Sakura finishes it within three or four small bites, torn between popping it into her mouth and savouring every last morsel. It's pure ecstasy for something affordable on the budget of a university student not loaded with excess money.

Not too bitter yet not too sweet, Sakura licks her lips at the taste that lingers. It's a rare indulgence. Damn Ino and her obsession with counting calories that she has to impose on others. Sakura doesn't treat herself as much as she should. But she won't allow herself to feel bad about the rich taste in her mouth because it's Sunday, the only free day in her hectic schedule, and it's the one day out of the month she's assured to spend time with Naruto and Sasuke.

Glancing at the other occupants of the table, Sakura sighs, too content to care about the distinct lack of conversation that makes her feel like she's been talking to herself. Naruto and Sasuke are sitting across from her, unresponsive to Sakura's gushing about the café.

But the slight tension Sakura immediately notices between them when they enter the café grows into something palpable when she points out their suspiciously quiet behaviour.

Naruto's eyes are darting back and forth between Sasuke and the bronze napkin holder. Sasuke's eyes are steady on a miniature green tea Baumkuchen cake Naruto ordered for him that Sasuke's not eating.

Taking a bite of a macaroon, Naruto looks like he's doing all but swallowing his tongue not to say something, Sasuke's body language is more tense than usual, and Sakura absently thinks of the more interesting aspects of her core classes towards a psychology degree she's finding more engaging than Tenten said it would be.

"Did you guys have a fight again?" Sakura asks.

The signs don't exactly point to it, but it's the only explanation she can come to. Although Naruto and Sasuke will never proclaim to be best friends to other people, it's obvious, uncomfortably so at times, that they're close. Fighting's not unusual, but it seems to have worsened since they became a couple.

Maybe they haven't had sex in a while? She can't very well ask because it's too blunt, even though she's comfortable enough around them to complain about what Naruto refers to as girlish things guys don't need to know about because there's a vindictive part of her that enjoys it when Naruto covers his ears and loudly sings about not being able to hear anything.

According to yesterday's text from Sai, a self-professed gossip who somehow happens to know anything and everything about everyone on campus, Sasuke is withholding from having sex with Naruto, who in turn is sulking because of it. Of course, coerced celibacy is Sai's reasoning behind anything between Naruto and Sasuke, and Sakura brushes it off like most of what Sai says.

Naruto and Sasuke are far from being the poster example of the perfect couple, but whatever they do works for them if they've been together for six months. Who was Sakura to question the nature of their—

Naruto hits the table with his fist. Sakura is startled at the noise, and Sasuke's attention is finally taken away from the cake he's not eating. Some of the other patrons and a few waitresses look at Naruto, but most go back to what they were doing.

Grimacing, Sakura cracks her knuckles beneath the table. For once, she just wants to have a nice lunch with two of her closest friends, who, unfortunately, each seem hell-bent on making that impossible. "Naru—"

"That Kanazawa guy who was feeling you up earlier, Sasuke," Naruto blurts out, "why'd you let him do that?"

The entire café turns silent.

All eyes are on their table.

For a brief second, a second so ridiculously brief that Sakura almost misses it, Sasuke looks like he's going to keel over in embarrassment. The heat rushing to Sakura's face in no way compares to the incredible flush that overtakes Sasuke's entire body. It's a dangerous looking red, a violent red fuelled by both anger and sheer mortification. If looks could kill—well, Sakura can't feel sorry for Naruto. That's something she learned to stop doing a long time ago.

"You asshole," Sasuke snarls. "I didn't _let_ Kanazawa do anything."

There's a story there, Sakura knows. There's always a story between those two, and Sasuke only confirms it when he pushes Naruto out of his chair and storms out of the café. Scrambling off the floor, Naruto yells at Sasuke to wait and runs after his other half.

The stares follow Sasuke and Naruto out the door, but when the perpetrators of the disturbance are out of sight, every head in the café, moving as a collective whole, turns to look at Sakura.

Sinking in her chair, Sakura wishes she had the ability to magically disappear and returns to her food in a poor attempt at misdirection.

Something deep within her suggests she should be more upset than she actually is. She already knows she can't take them anywhere, and she's awed that she keeps doing this to herself. It's bound to happen next month, too, just like it did last month because Naruto was angry at Sasuke for throwing out the window the clothes Naruto hadn't washed in weeks.

She doesn't even worry about footing the bill. Having done it too many times before, Naruto and Sasuke will pay her back within a day or two. But when they make this kind of scene, it defeats the purpose of the three of them getting together in an effort to maintain their friendship.

Sighing, Sakura puts an entire petit four in her mouth. It's a small éclair generously drizzled with lemon glaze and stuffed with a pistachio-flavoured custard that simply melts on her tongue. But the delicate dessert somehow tastes bland, and she already starts to mourn the memory of the sinfully delicious confectionaries, mentally marking the newly opened maid café as yet another place on the long list of establishments she can't show her face in again.

She wonders if they make deliveries.

...

It's been abnormally cool lately, with the fringes of spring waiting for summer to catch up with the month of June, but today is nice. Nice enough to lounge on the grass in the middle of the quad by the main canteen on campus, it's incredibly relaxing. Comfortable enough to close his eyes despite commotion of the students walking through the area, and Shikamaru's amazed by how easily people are too caught up trying to complicate their lives to stop and enjoy something as simple as this.

"Hey, Shikamaru," says a loud voice.

Shikamaru groans and recognises the voice belongs to Naruto. At least it's not another student asking why Shikamaru's lying on the ground. "You're bothering me."

"Yeah, I know I'm interrupting your nap," Naruto says, "but I need your advice on something."

"Ask Sasuke."

"I would, but I can't find him right now."

"Can't or don't want to?"

"Look, I was just passing through, and I saw you just lying there, so..."

With a sigh, Shikamaru opens his eyes and sits up while Naruto plops himself on the ground. It's none of his business why Naruto seems so reluctant about Sasuke. He gets dragged between the two of them enough as it is. Although the sooner he gives Naruto what he wants, the sooner Naruto will go away.

"It'll be quick. I promise," Naruto says, unconsciously chewing on his fingernails. It's an unhygienic habit and one Sasuke frequently belittles Naruto for keeping. But as long as Naruto keeps his hands to himself, Shikamaru doesn't care.

"I'm listening."

"So," Naruto begins, "let's say you have a friend. Who, uh…okay, let's say you have a friend who gets groped in front of you. Publically in front of you, like there's not really a crowd or anything around you, but there are still some people."

"This happened to you?"

"No, a friend, I said. This happened to a _friend_."

"Awfully convenient that you're my friend, isn't it then?"

"Shush. You're ruining my hypothetical situation."

"My apologies," Shikamaru drawls, "do go on."

"Okay, yeah, anyway, like I was saying. You have a _different_ friend—who's not me, by the way, just to be clear—and this friend has this weird guy from one of his classes come up to him and this guy...touches him—your friend, that is—in a place where your friend didn't want to be touched. And when you try to talk to your friend about it—not accidentally implying your friend let it happen, of course—in a place that _is_ crowded with people who overhear the whole conversation, suddenly your friend doesn't want to talk to you anymore."

"Oh, so this happened to Sasuke, I take it."

"A friend," Naruto quickly corrects. "I didn't say anything about Sasuke."

"As much time as you spend with that guy, who else it could be? But coming to me for this kind of situation?" Considering his short-lived relationships with all the girls who've dumped him, Shikamaru's surprised Naruto would come to him at all. "Being upset about something like that, I suppose I can understand, but I don't have any good advice for you. It's too much work to deal with someone like Sasuke, and I don't know how you put up with him on a daily basis. Personally, I wouldn't even bother. Unless the sex is that good. Then by all means, do what you must."

Naruto squints at Shikamaru and tilts his head to the side.

Shikamaru covers a yawn with his arm. "What?"

"You know what," Naruto begins but trails off and stands. His eyes widen at something behind Shikamaru, and Shikamaru turns around to see a familiar figure in the distance.

"Sasuke!" Walking backwards, towards the direction Sasuke is not so discreetly darting away from Naruto in, Naruto points a finger at Shikamaru. "What you said about the good sex me and Sasuke are having—don't hold that thought."

Naruto runs after Sasuke in earnest, but the sight doesn't faze Shikamaru like it once used to. He can still hear Naruto calling for Sasuke, like Sasuke will actually stop the tenth time Naruto yells Sasuke's name. It's a typical occurrence, to the point where few people actually take notice of it, and it's a wonder Sasuke still tries to pretend he doesn't know Naruto.

Snorting, Shikamaru lowers himself so that he's lying on his back and settles down on top of the grass. A light breeze tickles his face, and he places his hands beneath his head, comfortable as he watches the clouds pass over him.

...

When he leaves the café, Naruto isn't too far behind, and Sasuke cuts through campus instead of using the more direct route that he and Naruto took earlier. He doesn't have much of a head start on Naruto. But knowing Naruto will be too distracted looking for him to simply wait at their apartment like any sane person would, Sasuke hopes to buy himself some time by losing Naruto in the crowd of students that hang out in the quad on weekends.

The fact that Naruto could accuse him of letting Kanazawa do that to him, Naruto who's supposed to know him better than anyone else, Sasuke's more frustrated than angry. And while he can't really identify the source of his frustration, the reason why Naruto's words are having such an effect on him, Sasuke does know he wants to be as far away from Naruto as possible.

When his cell phone rings, Sasuke stops by a vending machine and leans against it, hidden from the view of anyone passing on the other side. He flips the phone open, half-expecting it to be Naruto, ready to close it until he sees his brother's name appear on the display screen.

Like clockwork, Itachi calls every Sunday, the only day Sasuke doesn't have class or is scheduled to work. It's a nice assurance during his first year in school, when not even Naruto can take away from the initial apprehension of being away from home. However, three years later, Sasuke's convinced Itachi just doesn't want to acknowledge that Sasuke's an adult.

He thinks Itachi worries far too much about him, but Sasuke answers the phone on the second ring because he doesn't want to be subjected to Itachi blaming him for having grey hair at the tender age of 26. He presses the call button and breathes into the receiver.

"I know you're not the most conversational person; however, I do expect some form of coherent speech."

"Itachi..."

"What's wrong with you?"

"No-nothing."

"Doesn't sound like nothing."

"It's nothing, I said."

"Is it about Naruto?"

Sasuke pushes himself away from the vending machine and walks into the grassy area of the quad. "Why does everything have to be about Naruto?"

"I'm assuming you haven't told our parents, but if this is a permanent development, you should reintroduce Naruto in that capacity. I doubt they'll be pleased to hear about the status of your relationship with him from someone else."

"You mean you?"

"Possibly. I haven't decided, but I do have an obligation as your older brother to do so, of course."

"You've always been such—what do you mean my relationship with Naruto?"

"Neji and I do speak about you on occasion."

"Neji?" Neji is related to his family, distantly, very distantly, but Sasuke only knows him as the teaching assistant in his molecular biology class. "You keep tabs on me through _Neji_?"

"He called out of...concern, I'll say, about your relationship with Naruto."

"Neji told you that we were—no, no, no—there is no relationship like...like _that_ between Naruto and me."

"I'd imagined you were moving into your new apartment alone, not sharing a bed with Naruto. I'm not sure what to think about this new aspect to your relationship with him, to be honest. Although this progression of the friendship between you two doesn't—"

Seething, Sasuke shuts his phone with a loud click and quickly fingers it into his pocket. He can't count the number of times he's scratched Itachi's name from his mental hit list, but he's going to add it back again and keep it there permanently this time. He'll let Itachi berate him for rudely hanging up later.

"Sasuke!"

Sasuke stills when his eyes look in the direction of the entrance to the canteen and land on Naruto, who's sitting on the grass next to Shikamaru. Naturally, it's his misfortune that he'll subconsciously lead himself to Naruto when trying to do the opposite. And when Naruto runs towards him, Sasuke goes as fast as his feet will take him.

...

"Didn't you hear me calling you?"

"If you don't take your hands off me, Naruto, I will remove them for you, and I can guarantee you will never be able to use them again."

"Come on, Sasuke. I said I was sorry."

"Sorry? What the hell is wrong with you? You don't just—"

"I'm trying to explain."

"By jumping on me from behind?"

"I'm surprised you didn't expect it. My musasabi technique is reserved especially for you."

"...your particular brand of stupid, tell me it's not contagious. All these years and there's no way of knowing how much being regularly exposed to you has had a detrimental effect on me."

"But Sasuke, if I don't stop you from running away now, one day I might not be able to bring you back."

"Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why that is?"

"Not really."

"I just bought these jeans, Naruto."

"Like you can't buy new ones. In all seriousness, though, we need to talk about this."

"There is nothing—I repeat—_nothing_ to talk about."

"Look, I didn't mean to say what I said like that."

"Then why would you say something so careless at all?"

"It wasn't supposed to come out like that, obviously. How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"

"Until I can't differentiate your face from the rest of your sorry ass."

"Stop trying to hit me."

"Then let go of me, idiot."

"No."

"People are staring."

"And your point is? We've been going through this at least once a month since our first year here. But you'd think they'd be used to it by now, you know."

"Let. Me. Go."

"You're going to hit me if I do."

"Yes, Naruto, I will. And it's no less than you—ah, don't move. It hurts."

"Your hair got stuck in—"

"What kind of guy wears a girly necklace like that?"

"Don't make fun of my necklace. You know how important it is to me."

"Do I look like I care? Just get it out."

"...and it's not girly. It has a chain."

"Now."

"Hold still before your hair cuts my chin or something. Ever thought of laying off the hair gel for a while?"

"You know I don't wear any damn hair gel, Naruto. Get that thing out."

"Maybe if you stopped squirming I actually could."

"Naru—"

"You're the one who fell on top of me."

"Only because you attacked me like some deranged animal."

"If you'd just stop acting like I have some kind of venereal disease—"

"For all I know, you probably do."

"I do not have—stop wiggling like that, Sasuke."

"When you let go, I'll stop."

"_Please_, Sasuke. Don't move."

"Your hands. Get them off me."

"Not until you stop moving like that."

"Then let me—Naruto?"

"…yeah?"

"That better not be what I think it is."

"Would you, uh, haha, would you believe me if I said it was my cell phone?"

"I can't…you just…you have…your…"

"It's not—damn it, that hurt. Why'd you elbow me in the stomach, you bastard?"

"Sasuke, where are you going? Sasuke, wait up!"

...

Naruto knows he hasn't had sex in a few weeks. The last time he had sex is in fact a little over six months ago, with a girl he'd met through a mutual friend. Not that Naruto is counting, but he personally sees such a lag as unhealthy for a young man of his calibre and stamina. So, it's only natural that he has an erection when there's a warm body rubbing against his and creating _that_ kind of friction, the kind that feels really good. Naruto's a guy. It can't be helped. And because Sasuke is a guy, too, Sasuke should understand.

But when that warm body is Sasuke, feeling good isn't simply a matter of whether or not strings are attached, which effectively puts Naruto in a really tight spot.

Because Sasuke's more than a warm body. He's someone Naruto has an ongoing history with. Sasuke's someone Naruto's known since they were kids, someone he can't really avoid since they live together, and someone who resorts to locking Naruto out of their apartment whenever he wants Naruto to leave him alone.

Cursing Sasuke for being so fast, Naruto picks up his pace. He ignores the slight pain in his stomach and makes a dash for the stairs of their apartment complex when he catches sight of the back of Sasuke's head. One more flight left and he nearly trips going up the steps. He can't be that far behind. His shoes squeak across the fourth floor, just a little closer and he's there, but Naruto only makes it in time to see the door to the second apartment on the right slammed in his face.

There's a really nice apology he's prepared in the back of his mind while he was running after Sasuke, close to grovelling, and he knows Sasuke's listening on the other side of the door. Sasuke has to be otherwise the apology won't mean anything, but another sorry is the last thing that comes out of Naruto's mouth.

"Sasuke, open the door."

"Stop banging on the door, Naruto," is Sasuke's muffled reply.

"Really? You're still going to do this to me even after I said I'm sorry?"

"Don't leave your keys inside the apartment then."

Naruto looks under the welcome mat in front of the door. "You took my spare, too? You can still lock me out without taking my spare key. I need that."

"Sounds like a personal problem to me."

Naruto bangs his fist on the door again. "Damn it, Sasuke."

"I doubt that's going to persuade Sasuke to let you back in," a voice says from behind him, and Naruto turns around with dread to see Sai standing in front of apartment 403.

"Nobody asked you."

"It's interesting to note how similar your interactions with Sasuke are alike to the kinds of scenarios most movie audiences are highly receptive to," Sai says, adjusting the bag of groceries in his arms. "Or how your life seems to follow a series of clichés, I should say. A recent example is a movie I saw in my American film class that portrayed two people in a relationship not dissimilar to the one you share with Sasuke."

"Not this again." Naruto rolls up his sleeves, only half-listening to what Sai's saying.

He doesn't necessarily dislike Sai, but the guy has the social capabilities of a block of tofu. Sai's a film buff who compares everything in life to a movie in an attempt to make up for his lack of people skills. He likes to think life imitates art and has this weird thing about analysing Naruto and Sasuke's lives through the movies he's watched.

If Sai's trying to get a better understanding of them, how he's going about it isn't the best way to make friends.

It's bad enough Naruto has the same calculus class with him, but with Sai's unhealthy interest in them, it's like Sai's been determined to carry out his own death wish since Naruto and Sasuke moved across the hall from him, the day Sai earned a permanent spot on Sasuke's mental hit list.

That day, Sai invited Naruto and Sasuke to study the behaviour of the characters in an Italian exploitation film Naruto's glad he doesn't remember the title of for what Sai claimed to be research to discern if the personalities of the characters remained consistent throughout both the sexual and nonsexual scenes.

Neither Naruto nor Sasuke accepted, but their reactions that initially consisted of shock and mild irritation became close to killing intent when Sai attempted to change their minds by resorting to insults.

After a few disparaging remarks about Naruto's sexual prowess, Sasuke prevented Naruto from strangling Sai. At least until Sai said even though Sasuke's a eunuch he should be grateful he's prettier than Naruto, which led to Naruto having to restrain Sasuke from beating Sai within an inch of his life.

"Last week I had a discussion, albeit a short-lived one," Sai continues, apparently oblivious to how much Naruto wants him to go away, "with a classmate about the predetermined roles for female characters versus male characters and the development of archetypes in different film genres based on the setting and era."

Naruto jiggles the doorknob, making noise just to drown out as much of Sai as possible. "Please, let me in, Sasuke. Leaving me out here with Sai? That's just cruel. And you're not cruel. Violent, yeah, but you're not a cruel person, are you, Sasuke?"

"But since you do see so many women act like that—in domestic films, too—it only stands that fiction has to be implemented from some kind of reality. And stereotypes have to have a fundamental origin they're derived from, making them not inherently false. When I said this, though, surprisingly, she slapped me."

"Good for you," Naruto snaps, sending a sharp look at Sai. "Now shut the hell up."

"But the example in the film we were discussing, Sara excluded Nathan from her life for a period of time, much like Sasuke is currently doing to you in the most literal sense. It's not difficult to see a correlation in these types of circumstances, when you continually say things that you know will upset Sasuke."

"Shut _up_, Sai."

"However, by the end of the film, Sara and Nathan do come to an understanding of sorts and derive a relationship acceptable to the eyes of society. The resolution comically reflects their first meeting earlier in the film, during which Nathan openly approaches Sara and declares his intent—to paraphrase it in Japanese—to insert—"

"Are you seriously hearing the things coming out of your mouth?"

"The ending, more so than the movie as a whole, was a disappointment and left much to be desired in the characterisation previously established. Although maybe this method will work in your—hello, Sasuke. I was just going to inform Naruto about the benefits of embracing to make amends in a situation like yours."

Naruto turns back around to see Sasuke standing in front of him. Sasuke's eye begins to twitch, and, anticipating the inevitable, Naruto throws his weight against the door before Sasuke has the chance to close it all the way. He barely manages to get his leg and forearm through the doorway when Sasuke hits his hand. A loud hiss of pain escapes Naruto, and his hand feels like it's on fire. Out of reflex, he backs away from the door that Sasuke then slams in his face.

Sai looks at Naruto in confusion. "Unless you two have not embraced yet? I would think six months is a long time, but then again—"

"I'm going to kill you." Naruto lunges at Sai, and the paper bag of groceries falls to the floor. "I swear I'm going to kill you this time because Sasuke's not here to stop me!"

...

Contrary to what those around him seem to think, just because Sasuke is one of the few people on campus who actually takes post-secondary education seriously doesn't automatically equate to Sasuke being sexually repressed, as Naruto likes to describe him. He's had sex. Plenty of times. More than a few times. Once or twice in since he started school, although he doesn't want to think about how much of a presence studying has in his life.

But there's something different about being on top of Naruto like that. Sasuke holding his breath because when Naruto tries to wave off his erection, the hardness pressing into Sasuke's stomach, he gives a chuckle almost as low as Sasuke's voice, and there's something about the shaky smile on Naruto's lips that makes Sasuke overlook the chain of Naruto's necklace caught in his hair. It reminds him of that drunken kissing incident with Naruto at Chouji's New Year's party that he's carefully schooled himself to forget. He doesn't want to think about that, either, the fact he can't remember what it was like to kiss Naruto then and this new curiosity to find out what it would be like to kiss Naruto now.

Sasuke almost does it, too. He almost pushes Naruto against the wall and crashes their mouths together in some half-hazard and messy way that he envisions kissing someone like Naruto would be like.

But when he opens the door, Sai's there, too. Sai in all his nonsensical glory talking about Sasuke embracing Naruto, the perverse interpretations about their relationship Sasuke usually brushes off suddenly hold some kind of substance, and the reality that he was actually thinking of kissing Naruto overwhelms him.

Naruto with the smelly shoes, Naruto who leaves his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, Naruto with a fox for an imaginary friend only he and Sasuke could see when they were younger, Naruto who digs in his ear with his pinkie and squints to examine what comes out—Sasuke's not supposed to think of Naruto like that.

But Sasuke does. For some inexplicable reason he does, so when Naruto tries to wedge himself inside their apartment, Sasuke pushes back against the door and hits Naruto's hand hard with the back of his own. He ignores the way Naruto cries out in pain because it's Naruto—it's _Naruto_—and there must be something wrong with him if the mere thought of kissing Naruto gives Sasuke something even remotely close to resembling a hard-on.

When he slams the door on Naruto yet again, Sasuke immediately logs on to his laptop and sets on finding a new place to live. Thoughts of the six months left in the lease of his current apartment are thrown to the wayside. He needs to find a cheap place near school and close to his job but doubts he'll be able to live in the city on his own because the minimum price running for most places is still too expensive.

He does a quick search for a roommate who has neither blond hair nor blue eyes, a reasonably easy search to make in Japan that brings back enough results to leave Sasuke busy sifting through for a couple of hours. However, none of them appeal to Sasuke, and the listings aren't as favourable as his arrangement with Naruto in a spacious apartment they shouldn't be able to afford even with their measly salaries combined.

Naruto's godfather happens to know the manager of the complex and the connection means Sasuke and Naruto get more than just a good deal for what they're paying. The manager also happens to be Sai's uncle, Orochimaru, who coincidentally takes a liking to Sasuke that Sasuke has no qualms taking advantage of. Naruto claims it's sexual harassment waiting to happen, but Sasuke isn't above ignoring the leers and lewd smiles if it means Orochimaru is a little lenient on their rent.

When the clock in the right hand corner of the screen reads a quarter after two, Sasuke saves the tabs on his browser and shuts down his computer. He takes off the headphones he put on to block the sound of his phone ringing because he doesn't have to look to see Naruto's number. Naruto hasn't banged on the door in a while. He's probably at Kiba's apartment, where he usually goes when Sasuke locks him out, which is good since Sasuke's supposed to meet Ino in the library at three. Naruto gone makes it safe for Sasuke to slip out of the apartment.

He puts the strap of his black computer case over his shoulder and winces at the creaking of the door as he opens and closes it. He looks both ways before crossing the hallway and covers the short distance to the stairs.

...

Japanese literature isn't her worst subject, but neither is it her greatest, and Ino almost regrets signing up for one of the few classes with empty seats this semester that looked even marginally interesting.

It's better than the alternatives, but she'd be much happier in the algebraic topology seminar that's already full. Math is something she understands, something that makes sense. Despite how much Shikibu Murasaki is revered in Japan, how important _The Tale of Genji_ is in the literary world, Ino's brain disengages while trying to keep up with names that aren't used, the heavily veiled symbolism that stands for nothing at all, and the cultural differences between the Heian period and the Heisei period that go over her head, even with annotations. She doesn't know how her professor expects her to write a critical analysis of 41 chapters, the first part of the novel chronicling the rise and fall of Genji, and turn it in a month from now.

Her only saving grace is Sasuke, who helps her with less than half the enthusiasm he applies to his own work. His dedication is admirable, but at the same time, it's insane how quickly Sasuke can grasp such complex concepts, especially when he often refers to the original version of the novel and not the modern Japanese translation the average person is more familiar with.

He enters the library a little before three and takes a seat next to her, at the table Ino reserves for the one or two times a week they meet to work on their literature assignment together. A grunt is his only greeting as he puts his case on the table and takes out a silver laptop.

Returning the clipped greeting with a cheerful one, Ino turns on her borrowed computer. Her own computer crashed on her, and since she doesn't know how make it work short of throwing it against the wall, she dropped it off with Shino because he offers to fix it for her. Shikamaru is kind enough to let Ino make use of his computer, bad-mouthing her behind her back for such a taxing request, she's sure.

Sasuke scoots his chair closer to the table, and Ino's eyes linger on his face a little more than they probably should. The crush she used to have on Sasuke hasn't really gone away. If Sasuke was cute when they were younger, he's gorgeous now. Tall and silently commanding with a definite presence people stand and take notice of, on the surface, he's almost everything she could want in a dream guy summed up in a neat little package.

But somewhere between adolescence and adulthood, the marvel of simply sitting within kissing distance of Sasuke loses its appeal, and Ino becomes okay with the idea of Sasuke simply being eye candy. He's not as cool or composed as her thirteen year old self once thought him to be, and sometimes she wonders what she, Sakura, and at least half the girls at every school Sasuke went to ever saw in him.

Aside from his looks, Sasuke's intelligent, too. Ino won't deny that's a desirable characteristic in a guy, but he's too shy for her tastes, too single-minded, and he'd be a lot more approachable if he took the time to smile a bit more. Though, there's nothing wrong with being friends with Sasuke. Of course, she's not as close as Sakura is with both Naruto and Sasuke, but Ino's no longer the little girl who would envy Sakura for having that kind of relationship with someone she likes. She's a woman with intent, and if Sakura can move on, so can she. There's a world of guys out there besides Sasuke, and Ino is enjoying herself immensely on her quest for the right one. Not to mention, Sasuke's taken anyway.

Still...

It doesn't hurt to look from time to time.

Sasuke brushes his bangs out of his face. "Did you finish reading Chapter Nineteen yet?"

"Chapter Nineteen?" Ino's brought out of her daze when Sasuke snorts. "Oh, Chapter Nineteen, right. Chapter Nineteen with the Akashi lady and Genji's daughter. I did."

"I'm wasting my time if you're not even going to pay attention to me."

"No, I am. Really. And I honestly do appreciate you going out of your way to help me. Only, I meant to ask you something. That is, I'm wondering if you and Naruto are doing anything special today?"

Fingers hovering above the keyboard, Sasuke halts mid-type. He keeps his eyes trained on the screen of his laptop. "Why?"

"I don't know, I just thought you would go out or something like that."

"For what?"

"I'm not sure how this works with two guys. The same as a guy and a girl, I should think," Ino muses. "The halfway point is important for some people, although not everyone celebrates something so old fashioned these days. But with you and Naruto, I'd argue it's more of a milestone."

"If you want to say something, say it." Sasuke levels a glare at Ino that she's immune to. "Otherwise stop talking and actually do something productive, like what we came here to work on."

Ino huffs. "I don't know why you still have so many girls who like you. You're so crude when it comes to relationship type things, and that's not attractive at all."

Every time Sasuke opens his mouth, any reason Ino has to fawn over him instantly disappears, and once again she's reminded exactly why she demoted Sasuke from the dream guy she could take home to her parents to being strictly eye candy. Trying to hold a conversation with Sai and his obscene obsession with movies is easier than trying to pry Sasuke away from anything that has to do with school.

Unless it's Naruto doing the prying, of course.

But while Ino may not be Naruto, she knows Sasuke well enough that staring at him when they're sitting right next to each other will eventually get his attention.

Sasuke sighs irritably. "Just spit it out."

"I'm asking if you and Naruto are going to celebrate the halfway point to your anniversary."

Sasuke turns his gaze away from his laptop to Ino. He looks honestly confused. "Anniversary for what?"

"Didn't you guys start going out six months ago?"

...

It's the umpteenth time Naruto's been kicked out of his own apartment and the umpteenth time Kiba welcomes Naruto into the apartment he shares with Lee and Chouji because it's only two blocks down from where Naruto lives. Lee says the more the merrier, and Chouji always cooks enough to last a few days, so Kiba thinks of Naruto as a temporary third roommate whenever Naruto does come over.

Ever since Naruto moved in with Sasuke, sometimes it feels like Naruto spends more time at Kiba's place than in his own apartment. Kiba wants to feel sorry for Naruto. But it's Sasuke, of all people, and all Kiba can say about it is that it's Naruto's fault for liking Sasuke in the first place.

He'll admit it's kind of sad, though, the way Naruto's hunched against the couch, dialling Sasuke's number and hanging up after a few seconds because Sasuke keeps letting it ring. Naruto goes back and forth between telling a Sasuke who can't hear him to pick up and mumbling into the phone pleas not to go straight to Sasuke's voicemail.

As sad as the sight is, Naruto and Sasuke acting like the married couple they aren't, it gives Kiba a newly found appreciation for his status as a single man. But it's funny, too. Or at least it's a lot funnier than the soccer match he's watching. His team is losing to Lee's team. JEF Chiba is down by four against Tokyo Verdy, and watching Naruto lose what little is left of his dignity is definitely more bearable than listening to Lee cheering for his team and rubbing in Kiba's face the two back to back goals made by Tsuchiya and Kawano during stoppage time.

Stupid Tsuchiya and Kawano with their stupid green uniforms that look like that stupid jumpsuit Lee sometimes wears during track practice.

"Would you like to call Sasuke using my phone, Naruto?" Lee offers during halftime. "Perhaps Sasuke will be more inclined to answer if he sees it's not you calling him?"

Lee's only trying to be helpful, but the way he says it and the absolute gratitude on Naruto's face is so pitiful that it drives home the ridiculousness of Naruto's predicament, and Kiba breaks down into an uncontrollable fit of laughter that distracts him from the highlights of the soccer game.

"You'll let me borrow your phone? Thank you, thank you. I always did like you, Lee. You're so nice and kind and generous and so many good things." Naruto glares at Kiba. "Unlike some people."

Holding up his hands in mock surrender, Kiba grins. "No way I'm getting in between you and Sasuke. Tried that once and my dog almost ended up being collateral damage. You're on your own with that one, man."

"Some friend you are." Naruto snorts and dials Sasuke's number. Not to Kiba's surprise, Sasuke answers on the first ring. "Sasuke, you bastard, let me back—"

"I know I'm not Lee, but—wait, wait, wait—don't hang up on me."

"This _is_ an emergency. Remember that biology paper I told you about a few weeks ago? Yes, the one that's due Tuesday. I need to start working on that."

"Because I didn't start it earlier, all right. It's not like I can do anything about it now. Get off my back already."

As much as Kiba doesn't like to get involved with Naruto's relationship problems, he can't resist the opportunity to tease Sasuke. Setting Sasuke off in turn sets Naruto off, and if Kiba gets a kick out of it, that doesn't make him a bad person. He does this because he's Naruto's friend. Really, he is, and when Sasuke locks Naruto out, it's Kiba's duty _as_ Naruto's friend to make fun of Naruto for dating someone like Sasuke.

Not to mention, he's still not over Sasuke's threats to get Akamaru neutered. Dog or not, there are things that just aren't supposed to be done to a guy.

So when Chouji, who's glued to the stove, asks if they want miso soup or shredded cabbage with their tonkatsu, Kiba snatches the phone from Naruto's hand.

"Hey Sasuke, I thought Naruto already replaced that stick up your—"

Naruto tackles Kiba before he gets a chance to finish, but Sasuke gets the gist anyway. And listening to Sasuke promise to tie him by his entrails to the street light outside his apartment makes Kiba howl in laughter before an armful of Naruto sends him sprawling on the floor and the phone falling out of his hands.

A knee on Kiba's chest to keep him in place, Naruto picks up the phone from the floor and frantically presses it against his ear. "Sasuke, don't you dare hang up on—"

A dial tone that sounds unreasonably loud through the phone's small speaker makes Naruto pause.

"—me."

After a moment of silence, Kiba says, "...guess you really made him mad this time, huh?"

"Do you know what you just did?" Naruto whispers, gently placing Lee's phone on the couch.

"Not my fault Sasuke can't take a joke."

Scowling, Naruto grabs Kiba by the shoulders and starts to shake him. "Why would you do this to me?"

"Calm do—"

"I was almost home free. Home free, Kiba. Sasuke was going to let me back in."

"I was just—"

"Pile up," Lee shouts excitedly.

"Oh no, Lee, this isn't..." Letting go of Kiba's shoulders, Naruto gives a warning too late, and Lee does a running jump on top of them.

Kiba winces at Lee's added weight and Naruto's arm squishing his face. His nose feels like it's being crushed, and he flails trying to get Naruto and Lee off of him.

Seemingly nonchalant to the events outside the kitchen, Chouji asks again, "Shredded cabbage or miso soup? Come on, I need to know so it'll be ready by the time the pork cutlets are done."

Rasping, Kiba manages to say something that he thinks sounds like shredded cabbage, but his voice gets lost among Naruto's cries for Lee to move his too highly energetic ass and Lee vocally and physically sharing his eagerness about the importance of putting more oomph in their lives.

...

On the way from the library Sasuke tries to decide whether or not Kiba should die a slow death by exsanguination or something a little more malicious like asphyxiation by his hands. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs at his apartment complex, he settles with imagining burying Kiba alive.

The third bridge to Sex Machineguns' High Speed Samurai sounds from his pocket, and when Sasuke opens his phone to see Naruto's name on the screen, he silences it. The constant ringing is annoying. Whether from calls or texts, Naruto's not going to stop unless Sasuke blocks Naruto's number or lets him back into their apartment, and Sasuke's leaning towards the former rather than the latter.

He puts his phone on manner mode for the time being and walks the four flights of stairs that lead to his floor. Only because no one's around to see him and question his sanity, Sasuke takes the steps one by one with his back against the wall, holding his laptop case in front on him. There's no way Naruto made it back before him, but Sasuke knows better than to underestimate Naruto.

Naruto may be absentminded in the sense he needs something like a spare key under the welcome mat he won't let Sasuke get rid of, but Naruto can be a tactical person when he wants to and a quick thinker despite his affliction from foot in mouth syndrome. The possibility of Naruto lying in wait, planning some kind of ambush like he's done too many times before, puts Sasuke on guard.

Slowly, his head peeks from around the corner. He estimates it's a good three metres from the end of the hall to the door of the apartment. It doesn't seem like Naruto's hiding anywhere, that there's anywhere to hide, but Sasuke can never be sure with someone as unpredictable as Naruto.

He vaguely entertains holding his case to his chest and taking a rolling dive across the floor, in the event Naruto is waiting by the other flight of stairs down the hall, waiting for the moment Sasuke opens the door. It's a stunt Naruto would pull without hesitation if he were in Sasuke's position. Sasuke can almost hear Naruto's voice, bragging about the stealth skills he doesn't have, but he squashes the thought when he realises he's actually imagining Naruto's voice in his head.

Sasuke scowls and berates himself for even thinking of it because it's the same kind of unbelievably inane thought process that makes Naruto think it's okay to refer to the act of pouncing on Sasuke as his Giant Flying Squirrel technique. Thoughts like that have no business clouding Sasuke's mind.

A hand taps his shoulder, and Sasuke jumps. He swings his laptop case in front of him, for a moment thinking the hand is Naruto's, but it's only Takemoto, the cranky old man living next door in apartment 404 who's glaring at Sasuke to get out of the way.

...

The main canteen is notorious for its selection of cheap, poor food, mediocre at best on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but it's still one of the most crowded places on campus. Shino likes to come here on weekend afternoons, alongside half the students in school, and claim the small table that sits two near the corner to the left of the entrance. Sometimes, Hinata offers to sit with him. Partly to keep the seat occupied because she knows, aside from her, that Shino prefers to sit alone but it's mostly to silently remind Shino he's the one who asked her out.

While Shino will concede a one-sided participation defeats the purpose of a relationship between two people, generally, though, he sits at the table by himself, enjoying his book of choice with a background of relative peace consisting of the white noise created in the canteen full of people too busy to notice him.

124 pages into his book, however, a tray carrying a cup of instant ramen and a pair of wooden chopsticks is slammed on his table. Shino doesn't have to look up to see who it is, but he does anyway with the hopes he is in fact hallucinating. Unfortunately, he's not. So he folds back the corner of page 124, closes his book, and glowers as he watches Naruto take a seat.

Steam is rising from the styrofoam cup, but Naruto separates his chopsticks in haste and begins to devour the food in front of him. He's sniffing while he slurps the noodles. It's not quite crying, more akin to Naruto's usual flair for dramatics than anything Shino thinks he should take seriously, but Naruto begins to overshare before Shino has the opportunity to tell Naruto he's an unwelcome intrusion.

Naruto divulges into a rant defending why it looks like he's on the verge of crying. Crying is a totally manly thing to do, he says, especially when jerks like Sasuke won't let Naruto back into their apartment, where his school stuff is, and Naruto has a twenty page paper for his environmental biology class on the endangered species of frogs in Central and South America due Tuesday that he hasn't even started typing, but all of his notes and reference materials and his laptop are in his room, which is in his apartment, which he can't get into because Sasuke locked him out and took the spare key Naruto leaves under the welcome mat just in case Sasuke pulls crap like this...

With practiced ease, Shino tunes out most of Naruto's rambling. He moves his book away from the table, away from the broth sliding down the side of Naruto's mouth that's also splashed on the once clean surface of the table until Naruto says something that gains Shino's attention.

"Does everyone think me and Sasuke are sleeping together?" Naruto asks.

Shino doesn't even blink at the non-sequitur. He's well versed with how many he's already heard from Naruto. One minute the conversation is centred around Naruto's plans to petition the school's lack of variety in the flavours of ramen sold at the canteens, and the next minute Naruto is complaining about Sasuke calling him names, Sasuke throwing Naruto's dirty laundry out of the window, Sasuke being a sadistic bastard and making Naruto beg for help whenever there's a lecture Naruto doesn't fully understand—something that ultimately has to do with Sasuke. It probably makes sense in Naruto's mind, a place where Shino has no intention of delving into anytime soon, if not ever.

Whatever qualms in his and Hinata's relationship, Shino should only be so fortunate he and Hinata don't behave like Naruto and Sasuke.

"I doubt everyone thinks you and Sasuke are sleeping together," Shino says. "First and foremost, everyone in the world doesn't know you."

"Okay, that's great to hear, smartass, but still—you don't think we're together like that, do you?"

Shino arches an eyebrow. "You're not?"

"No," Naruto says slowly. "But just how long have you been thinking of me and Sasuke like that?"

"Six months to the day."

"Really?" Naruto frowns. "Is it because we live together that we have signs on our heads or something that say I'm with him?"

"Who you share an apartment with doesn't dictate who you're in a relationship with."

"See, I don't disagree with that, but Kiba, Lee, and Chouji share an apartment. Hell, you and Shikamaru share a place. Nobody thinks any of you guys are in a relationship."

None of the aforementioned examples are the ones who had a drunken and explicit makeout session in front of everyone at Chouji's New Year's party last year and then moved in together less than two weeks later, but Shino doesn't say that. He won't when Naruto's currently undermining his previous assumptions.

Instead, he says, "Kiba, Lee, and Chouji probably have orgies."

It's a mental image that would deprive anyone of their childhood innocence, and Shino takes a twisted sort of gratification from Naruto's look of abject horror.

"...how can you say something like that with such a serious expression?" Naruto whimpers. "Why would you even want to say something like that?"

Shino shrugs and pushes his glasses against the bridge of his nose with an index finger. The lenses flash in the light. "Because it's not solely up to my discretion to disclose what Shikamaru and I do with his bondage collection behind closed doors."

The colour drains from Naruto's face. In an attempt to stand, he trips over his feet and his chair scrapes loudly across the floor. One of his chopsticks falls off the tray, and the cup of instant ramen almost topples over. Naruto can't leave the table fast enough, but Shino doesn't bat a lash as he licks his thumb and opens his book to page 124, returning to reading with a background of relative peace created by the crowd of students too busy to notice him.

...

Her professor says she has a knack for still life, a natural ability to capture a moment in time and make it come alive, but Tenten likes the freedom in the more abstract forms of art. She has an interest in the twentieth century western art movements, with a strong appreciation for Cubism, but her class is studying still life until further notice.

She looks down at her sketchbook, frowning at the blank page. Keeping a sketchbook for a participation grade in her 2-D art class is tedious, but Tenten compromises by sketching Sakura because she prefers portraits to inanimate subject matter and hopes her professor won't mind the deviation too much when she turns in her sketchbook tomorrow.

Tenten gets comfortable in her bed, crossing her legs and readjusting her sketchbook in her lap as she gauges Sakura's profile. The tip of her charcoal pencil glides across the smooth paper, beginning the outline of Sakura's head. She's careful to keep her hand from touching the paper. Charcoal is messy and smudges easily. It's a pain to work with when it gets on her hand and she smears the charcoal all over her paper.

Sakura turns in her chair and bends down to open the bottom drawer in her desk. Tenten wants to ask Sakura to be still, but she doesn't want the sketch to feel contrived.

Out of the drawer, Sakura grabs a thick textbook, the same one Tenten uses for her social anthropology class, and drops it on her desk. She picks up her cell phone, holds down a number on the keypad, and places the phone against her ear.

"You're blocking Naruto's calls again, Sasuke." Sakura begins to flip through her book, simultaneously holding a conversation while she reads. "Ask me how I know."

Tenten's ears perk at the mention of Naruto and Sasuke, any opportunity to procrastinate really. She's knowingly eavesdropping, but listening to the drama that entails Sasuke and Naruto's relationship makes the time go by much faster. Besides, Sakura would have taken the call elsewhere if there was anything she didn't want Tenten to hear.

"Please just let him back in," Sakura says. "Naruto keeps calling me and calling me and—"

"It's not that bad." Sakura gives a long-suffering sigh and situates the phone in between her ear and her shoulder. "Yes, Naruto can be…persistent. I'll give you that, but—"

Retracing the slight curvature at the point of Sakura's nose, Tenten scoffs. Saying Naruto is persistent is like saying grass is green. It's a gross understatement. She remembers Naruto's so-called persistence when he liked Sakura in junior high.

It was more than just the kind of harmless crush thirteen year old boys had on thirteen year old girls. It went from Naruto making weekly confessions Sakura never failed to turn down to Naruto taking a disturbingly active interest in Sakura's love life, almost like an overprotective ex-boyfriend. It made no sense whatsoever to Tenten at the time, still doesn't make sense considering how many times Sakura had to literally beat into Naruto that she only liked him as a friend. Thankfully, Naruto finally grew out of that stage by high school.

Although he still has that masochistic streak, if his relationship with Sasuke is anything to go by.

"Don't you think that's a little extreme?" Sakura says. "Do you really want to have to sneak in and out of your own apartment for the rest of your life—or at least for as long as you're living there?"

Groaning, Tenten carefully erases an errant mark on her paper when Sakura grabs a srunchie off the desk and pulls her hair back in one. She likes the way Sakura's hair falls over her shoulders, how it begins to fan over her back in uneven layers because Sakura's trying to grow her hair out after getting it cut short last year. Detail is something Tenten dedicates herself to preserve, like the direction of individual strands of hair, even for a tedious assignment that involves keeping up with a sketchbook. But it would be a lot easier if Sakura didn't play with her hair so much. There are certain nuances Tenten can't recreate from memory alone.

"Locking Naruto out every time he does something wrong isn't going to solve anything," Sakura continues. "And that's not fair when he pays rent, too. You need to stop running away from your problems, Sasuke."

Tenten begins to shade in the contours of Sakura's face. In addition to the light from the ceiling, the lamp by the desk is on, too. It's a waste of electricity, but the different angle of lighting gives Tenten a better look the subtle shifts of Sakura's soft features. It's difficult to translate onto paper with a medium as full and abrasive as charcoal, but the challenge makes Tenten more determined to make the sketch as realistic as possible.

"A restraining—that's so cold of you," Sakura says in that trademark admonishing voice of hers, funny when anyone but Tenten is on the receiving end of it. "And yes, I know. I was there, too. I heard what Naruto said at the café, but he's really sorry, and you can't blame him for being—"

"You embarrass too easily, Sasuke."

"That doesn't count!" Tenten jumps when Sakura raises her voice, looking up to see a vibrant flush on Sakura's cheeks. "You can't tell me you would have reacted any differently. You would have been embarrassed about that, too. And it would've been the same for Naruto."

Moving the sketchbook from her lap, Tenten reaches under her bed to grab a bottle of water. She unscrews the cap and takes a sip.

"Sasuke, I…I really don't think that's a good excuse to kick people out. Even someone like Naruto, and I—" Sakura pauses. "Let Naruto stay with me and Tenten? Seriously?"

Tenten chokes on her water. She nearly drops the bottle from her hand and barely manages to save her sketchbook from getting wet.

Sakura gives Tenten a concerned glance. She stands from her chair and sits next to Tenten on the bed.

Tenten sputters through the water stuck in her throat as she shakes her head. In the off chance Sakura will say yes, she shudders at the image of Naruto camped out on their floor. Too clearly can she see him snoring loudly and wrapped up in Sakura's extra futon, the really pretty one with pink and yellow chrysanthemums that doesn't suit a person like Naruto.

"I really don't want to be the middle man in your relationship," Sakura says while gently patting Tenten on the back. "That's not a healthy position to put myself in. It's not a healthy position for anyone to put themselves in, I think."

"What do you mean everyone keeps assuming that? Why else would I—"

"Well, Naruto is your boyfriend, isn't he?"

"Sasuke?" Blinking, Sakura takes the phone away from her ear and looks at the display screen.

"What happened?" Tenten asks, somewhat fretfully. "Naruto isn't coming over here, is he?"

"Of course not." Sakura directs a frown at the phone. "But Sasuke didn't have to hang up on me like that."

...

It's on his mind to ask the apartment manager for the master key, but Orochimaru is creepier than Sai, which explains a lot more than Naruto ever cares to know about. Orochimaru gets way too excited whenever Sasuke gets involved. Sasuke might dismiss Naruto's warnings of impending sexual harassment, but Naruto thinks there's something unnerving about the way Orochimaru looks at Sasuke.

So he waits outside his apartment instead. It's almost six. Sasuke still has Naruto's spare key, and Naruto sags against the door because he doesn't have anywhere else to go. He attempts to get Sasuke to let him in but has to stop because old man Takemoto complains he's making too much noise and threatens to use his broom to do unspeakable things to him if Naruto keeps pounding at the door.

He knows Sasuke's in there. Pressing his ear against the door, he can hear Sasuke moving around in their living room and if not for the fact he's pissed off, he'd be worried because Sasuke would have let him back in a long time ago.

He looks up when another door opens, from apartment 409, and a short boy with red hair wheeling a bright blue suitcase steps out. It's Gaara, the kid who sort of forms an attachment to Naruto after the divorce of his parents.

"Hi, Naruto."

Smiling, Naruto stands as Gaara makes his way over. "Hey, little man. How've you been?"

"I'm fine." Gaara returns the smile with a slight quirk of his lips, but the small gesture manages to take away from the shadows around his eyes, the dark circles no six year old should have. "I'm going home with my mom now. She's downstairs waiting for me."

Naruto nods. He already knows Gaara's parents don't like to see each other if they can avoid it. "Want me to walk with you?"

"I'm okay."

"You sure?"

Gaara nods. "Why aren't you inside?" He looks between Naruto and the closed door Naruto's standing in front of. "Did you do something to make Sasuke lock you out again?"

Naruto laughs sheepishly. It's embarrassing for a kid to know that much about his relationship with Sasuke. Even worse is the fact Gaara has such low expectations of him. "I think I said something to make him mad at me."

"Do you think or do you know?"

"Know. Sasuke took the spare key this time."

Gaara frowns. "Do you want me to break the door down for you?"

Naruto doesn't think a scrawny kid like Gaara could hit anyone hard enough to hurt, but he's still wary of the expression on Gaara's face. The way Gaara is staring at the door, like merely glaring at it will bring it down, Naruto doesn't want to take any chances and risk having to pay for property damages.

"You know, that's very—how do I put this—nice of you to offer, but I think I have to do this on my own. I don't want Sasuke more upset than he already is."

"If you say so." Sparing Naruto a pitying glance, Gaara shakes his head and mumbles something about grownups being too childish to be in a relationship. "See you later, Naruto." He waves at Naruto and turns to walk down the hallway, wheeling his suitcase behind him.

Naruto gives a feeble wave back. Sighing, he rests his forehead against the door and looks down at the beige mat with orange letters that read the word welcome in English.

"For the millionth time, I'm sorry for what I said. And I'll say it a million more times if that's what it takes for you to believe me."

It's taking longer than it should, but Sasuke will let him back in.

Eventually.

"So yeah," Naruto says softly, "I'm sorry, Sasuke."

...

On his phone, Sasuke seemingly has a million missed calls and unopened text messages from Naruto. It's not because he's mad that he doesn't answer. He's not mad. At least he's not mad about what Naruto said, not anymore. His earlier frustration peaks during his conversation with Sakura, who makes him aware of truths that hit a little too close to home. It settles into a faint unease when he hears Naruto knocking on the door again, but the unwanted hindsight of his behaviour prevents Sasuke from opening the door just yet.

Because he doesn't want to feel guilty, Sasuke doesn't. It's just Naruto being Naruto, and the usual moronic tendencies Sasuke's come to expect. Naruto doesn't mean most of what he says, much less half of the things he does, and apologies become something of an impulse when Sasuke isn't the one at fault. So he'll let Naruto back in. It's what he did last time, what he'll do the next time.

There's an anxiety about seeing Naruto that Sasuke doesn't want to acknowledge, festering in the pit of his stomach, but he's done enough soul searching for one day, probably to last him for the rest of his life if he's lucky.

He'll open the door out of annoyance at the fact Naruto's still waiting on the other side, at the fact that Naruto came back at all, like he always does. He'll open it because his hand hesitates over the knob when he hears a dejected sigh that sounds loud even though it's muted by the door between them. He'll open it because he reminds himself that Naruto pays half the rent of their apartment and there's another six months until their lease up.

But Sasuke doesn't open the door because he needs a million more apologies.

...

"Finally," Naruto says when Sasuke opens the door. "Are you happy now?"

Sasuke stares at him, standing in the middle of the doorway with no sign of moving anytime soon.

"I guess that means no." Naruto narrows his eyes. "But if you won't let me through, I'm knocking you down."

"Try it."

"And you owe me an apology for taking so long to let me back in."

"I don't owe you anything."

"Yeah, you do."

"No."

"Look, you, I've been through a lot today," Naruto grounds out. "First, I have to chase you down when you run out on me at the café. After you try to gut me with your bony elbow, you run away from me again, and then you take my spare key because you know I left my keys on my bed. You lock me out of my own place, and I end up having to deal with Sai, which, it's _Sai_. I go to Kiba's, and he laughs at me because he thinks you locking me out is what I deserve just for living with you, so of course he wants to make the situation worse.

"You know I need to work on my biology paper and the stuff I need for that is in my room, but you don't answer any of my calls or my texts, and when I call Sakura because I'm still trying to get to you, she yells at me to stop calling her about calling you. Shino scars me with mental images I'm going to be nice enough to spare you from, then Gaara nearly breaks down the door because the kid feels sorry for me since he thinks every time you lock me out it's my fault—and all that for what? Because I slipped on a few words?"

"No, because I want to kiss you."

"And I can't believe you—huh?"

"I want," Sasuke says slowly, "to kiss you."

"Um...okay?" Naruto scratches the nape of his neck. "I don't see how that—_oh_."

"There." Sasuke breathes and takes a step back into the apartment.

Naruto wipes his thumb over his bottom lip. "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that?"

"What was what?"

"That. What you just did."

"A kiss."

"You kissed me."

"Do you need me to dumb it down even further for you?"

"Don't be an ass." Naruto sucks his teeth. "What I mean is, I know we're close and everything, but when did kissing start coming into play?"

"I wanted to know what it felt like to kiss you."

"And?"

Sasuke gives a half-hearted sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I found out Neji told Itachi about us moving in together."

"I'm not even going to ask how Neji knew, but you didn't tell your brother?"

"Did you tell your parents?"

"Well, no, but I'm 21. I don't have to tell them everything anymore. I gave them our address. I just didn't feel I had to tell them the part about moving in with you. Not that you told your parents, either. Still, you don't not tell Itachi that kind of thing. If Itachi was my brother, I wouldn't not tell Itachi that kind of—"

"Point is, now Itachi wants me to bring you home to discuss it with my parents, and he insinuated he was going to tell them if I don't."

"Didn't I just see your parents over the break? They do live next door to my parents, you know. Tell me if I'm wrong, but I think that's the reason why we grew up together."

"Ino asked me if we were doing anything...special today to celebrate the halfway point of our anniversary."

"Come to think of it, it has been six months since we moved into this place. Shino mentioned it, too, but I didn't think Ino could be such a thoughtful person. That's unusually nice of her to remember something like that."

"Sakura accused me of having you as a boyfriend."

"You say that like having me as a boyfriend is a bad thing."

"Naruto."

"Yes?"

"Everything I said went in one ear and came out the other, didn't it?"

"What did?"

"Neji, Itachi, Ino, and Sakura," Sasuke says carefully, "they think we're in a relationship."

"No shit," Naruto murmurs. "Apparently everybody thinks we're dating." Even that Kanazawa guy, initially, but Naruto doesn't want to bring him up.

"You knew? And you let people continue to make those kinds of assumptions about me and..._you_?"

"Hey, don't look at me like that. And don't refer to me like I'm some kind of dirty person. I just found out today, too, all right. How do you think I felt when Shikamaru told me he thought you were too much trouble to have a relationship with so the sex has to be really good to put up with someone like you on a daily basis?"

Grabbing Naruto by the collar of his jacket, Sasuke hisses, "My scholarship be damned, I am going to _kill_ you, Naruto. And I won't even bother to deny it when the police find your dead body in front of the school."

"You're joking, right? Those were Shikamaru's words, not mine. I was just telling you what he—I can't breathe when you do that, Sasuke. It's really hard to get air into my lungs when you put your fingers there. Please don't kill me before I have a chance to tell you that I like you."

Sasuke pauses and allows his arm to fall to the side. Voice impassive, he says, "You like me."

"Maybe," Naruto says cautiously, grateful he's no longer wheezing. He rubs his neck and glances at Sasuke's hand.

Sasuke frowns. "You're not saying that just to stay alive, are you?"

"No, I think I do like you...like that. Homicidal tendencies and all."

"...oh."

"_Oh_? Don't sound so disappointed when I admit to something as embarrassing as liking you right after you tried to kill me. Plus, you're the one who kissed me. That means you like me, too, right?"

Sasuke purses his lips.

"Right?" Naruto asks again.

"It takes Kanazawa fondling my ass for you to admit that you like me."

"Jeeze, don't say something like that so casually."

"It's true, isn't it?"

"Not completely true. It's always been weird to see someone approach you in that way, and those girls who follow you around don't make me comfortable either. At least they aren't so forward, though."

Sasuke's eyes lower to the slight bulge in Naruto's pants. "As opposed to..."

"Ugh, do—don't look there." Naruto pulls his jacket over the front of his pants. "Blame my bad timing if you want because I'm just now figuring it out, but I think it really started when we kissed at Chouji's New Year's party, and I—"

"I thought we agreed to forget about that."

"Well, I couldn't forget about it, okay. Especially when you kiss me out of nowhere. Did you know I haven't had sex since that party? Six months without getting laid. I know you're fine being repressed and wasting the best years of your life studying, but can you imagine what that's like for normal people our age?"

"And this is coming from the same person who tried to convince me voluntary celibacy should be a crime."

"I know, I know, but you said it yourself. I'm a touchy feely person. Doesn't me holding back at least stand for something?"

"What am I supposed to think it stands for?"

"Maybe it stands for why I was—what happened earlier, what I said..." Swallowing, Naruto inches closer and makes a reach for Sasuke's shirt. He feels hot all over, knows he's blushing like he hasn't in a while, and it's not fair Sasuke can be so calm in the kind of situation Naruto is normally comfortable in.

"What you did."

"That, too."

"You weren't even trying to hide it."

"I couldn't. Being a guy, you know that, but can this be okay, though?" Something this good, it has to be more than okay. Naruto likes the feel of Sasuke's breath on his face, the novelty of being close to Sasuke in a completely different way, but Sasuke hasn't moved yet. He's just watching, gaze unwavering, and Naruto wants so badly not to mess this up.

"You'd be twitching on the floor if it wasn't."

"That's fair, I guess. How about this then?" A visible shiver runs through Sasuke, but the skin covered by Sasuke's shirt feels warm beneath Naruto's fingers. "Does this mean you like me as much as I like you?"

"We can't even admit that we're friends on a good day, and now you want to get caught up in something like this?"

"Why not?" Naruto wriggles his eyebrows. "Either that's your cell phone poking me or you're lying about how happy you are to see me."

"Stop that."

"Let me try something real quick."

"No."

"It's my turn."

"What are you—twelve?"

"Shut up, you're just...you won't let me say anything, and I..."

"Shouldn't we—"

"Mm-hm."

"Naruto..."

"Talking," Naruto says, trying to invade Sasuke's personal space again and succeeding because it's something he's become really, really good at over the years, "kind of defeats the point of kissing."

"So, you just decided," Sasuke says, momentarily distracted by another kiss, "that this is…um, something that we—"

"You decided." Naruto lets his fingers wander to the small of Sasuke's back, and Sasuke jerks into the touch, eyes widening spectacularly, and the groan that escapes his mouth tells Naruto he's doing the right thing because Sasuke hasn't stopped kissing him back.

"Okay, I decided." Sasuke tugs on Naruto's hair and shoves Naruto against the door to their apartment. "But this..."

Naruto hums affirmatively since it's more enjoyable to kiss Sasuke without talking.

"Wait." Sasuke backs away, and Naruto feels petulant at the sudden lack of contact. "Stop for a second. Let's think ab—"

"What's there to think about?" Naruto rushes out. "There has to be a reason why people assumed we're together, right? Except for the kissing, which we're both obviously okay with, and the other stuff beyond that we can talk about later, it's kind of like we have a relationship anyway, so doesn't it make sense to take the good things already between us and make them even better?"

Sasuke looks stunned, mouth open and eyes large, his face mirroring what Naruto feels. It's too close to being an outright confession, bigger than just admitting to maybe wanting to be more than friends with Sasuke, and Naruto stammers with a response to downplay the seriousness of the words he can't take back. "I mean, I..."

"Does this mean you two are together again?"

It's the voice with the power to ruin any mood, uncomfortable or not, and Naruto lets his head fall against the door when he sees Sai standing there, watching them for who knows how long. "Get lost, you damn perverted voyeur."

"Admittedly, you two were involved in what's commonly known as a public display of affection. Public, I believe, being the operative word. And since the hallway is considered public, at least to the tenants of this building—"

"Go _away_, Sai."

"Have you ever noticed how your lives act as platforms for many of the widespread clichés in the romantic movie genre, particularly the ones used in romantic comedies?"

Sasuke groans and rests his head against Naruto's shoulder, mumbling something about shoving a stake through Sai's eye. His hand grips Naruto's arm, the same hand with fingers that held Naruto's neck a little too tightly only minutes ago, and Naruto doesn't want to think about the kinds of things Sasuke would do to Sai if given the chance.

But as nice it feels having Sasuke leaning against him like this, Naruto hasn't forgotten what Sasuke's put him through today. And even if kissing Sasuke is something that feels more than just really nice, shoving Sasuke towards Sai and leaving Sasuke in the hallway with him is a fitting act of retribution and no less than what Sasuke deserves.

Naruto closes the door, followed by the latch, then quickly opens the door as much as the latch will allow. "Ha! Take that, Sasuke. A taste of your own damn medicine for taking away the six hours I could have used to work on my frog paper."

Unable to suppress a fiendish giggle, Naruto peers at Sasuke and Sai through the gap in the door. Any minute and he'll have Sasuke pleading to be let back in like Naruto was earlier. A few seconds with Sai is all it'll take. The impromptu plan is perfect. It's foolproof. Never mind the possibility of Sasuke killing Naruto when he does come in because all of his school stuff is in the apartment, too, there's no way—

"You're welcome to stay with me, Sasuke," Sai says. "We can watch Adrenaline Drive if you'd like. The clichés are tolerable although more subtle than most found in Japanese films of the late 90s. It's an older movie but still enjoyable despite its mediocrity at its failure to be a successful parody of the girls' teenage romance films popular then. My uncle's supposed to come by to drop it off later, but we can share coffee in the meantime. I hear coffee is—"

Naruto hurriedly closes the door, releases the latch, and swings the door wide open. He grabs Sasuke's arm, ignoring Sasuke's glare as he pulls him inside. "On second thought, I need help with my paper, Sasuke, since it's your fault I could have been halfway done by now."

Sai gives an infuriating smile. "See, Naruto? You've just illustrated another example of a widespread cliché used in roman—"

Naruto shuts the door in Sai's face.


End file.
